by Henk ter Heide on Friday November 11, 2011
I never really considered it a problem, but I have been
wondering the last couple of years. Why is it that I
always have so many problems. And why is it that almost
everybody I know has a lot of problems.
.
..
…
….
…..
Bored….
Bored….?
Bored….!
Bored!
It always takes me a few weeks to figure out what it is
that I’m feeling.
A month ago I realized that I was feeling bored.
I had nothing left to think about.
So my first reaction was to go out and find me some kind
of problem to solve.
But after a few days it dawned on me that this is why I
always have so many problems. I search them out.
I love solving problems. Whether they are personal
problems, work related problems, problems of other
people or just problems I’ve read about.
People who worked at boarding houses group homes
where trained in recognizing problems by the way
people behaved. So it actually happens that I know
what is wrong with people with whom I’ve never talked.
I love figuring out what is wrong and finding a
way to solve the problem.
But there is a down side.
When problems get solved people run of in search
for a more happy life and I go out and find the next
problem. Which leads to a somewhat depressing life style.
On further thought I concluded that it isn’t the finding
of the solution that I love. It’s the thinking process
that precedes it. But this thinking process isn’t exclusive
to solving problems.
So I’m done with solving (other people’s) problems.
Now I’m going to work on my own future.
Let’s see how much fun I can get out of writing
stories for this blog.
If you like the stories I tell. Or like the art and music I show. Feel free to leave a donation.
by Henk ter Heide on Sunday February 28, 2010
I just saw a video by Seth Godin about shipping.
He mentions something I never realized.
I always thought that being an artist is about making beautiful and interesting drawings. But not according to Seth.
Seth Godin says that any business is about shipping.
And of course he is right.
In the Christmas holiday I started a very complicated drawing that probably will be very beautiful if I ever get it finished.
But like with most complicated drawings that I do. It takes a lot of time to complete and the middle part isn’t very interesting to do.
I haven’t done much drawing the last few months, so I’m still only about one third the way of completing the drawing.
Thinking about this shipping idea I realized that there is a better way to drawing. It would work much better if I draw a lot of these easy, quick drawings. And when I feel like it I’ll intermix them with working on the more complex drawings.
Lines 6
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by Henk ter Heide on Sunday July 19, 2009
Because I’m still walking with a crutch, because I broke my hip last year November, I can’t cycle.
I hate it. It’s to slow.
And of course I can’t walk very far. So I take the bus a lot.
I don’t like the bus either. Not only because it takes much more time to reach down town by bus then by bike. But also because it doesn’t take me to the place were I want to go.
So I have to walk even more.
On holidays I’ve walked through forests and past lakes and hated it. As always I felt that I was going to slow.
Although I like being in nature and looking at the beautiful trees or the water. I always feel that there should be better mode of transport.
I’d much rather climb into my Porse and race through the forest.
I just started a new doodle. Although it’s not really a quick sketch. This is probably going to be a very nice drawing. But it is going to take me a few days to finish it.
Just after starting it. Not yet knowing what it was going to be. I realized something about drawing.
I’ve never thought about what it is that I like about drawing. Am I interested in the process or in the result.
Do I draw because I want to reach a certain destination or because I like the journey.
Thinking about that I realized that I am wrong. I do like walking through nature and having a laugh with friends. I just never recognized the feeling.
I do like the feeling of the pencil sliding across the paper. I do like to watch and see how the white is slowly eaten by the color.
I don’t like the color selection.
But am finding that it really doesn’t matter that much. Whether I take a long time to decide which color to take or go by instinct. In the end I usually like the result.
I also like the result.
But not so much that I’m willing to speed through a drawing. And give up on the joy of drawing it first.
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by Henk ter Heide on Thursday April 2, 2009
A tweet
After posting my last drawing, I got a tweet from @mayavbreemen (dutch) telling me she very much liked my drawing and asking me what my opinion was of my drawing.
At first glance that seemed a very strange question to ask of an artist. Of course do I like my drawing. Otherwise I wouldn’t have made it, right?
Wrong!
My goal in drawing isn’t to create beautiful pictures. My goal is to create interesting pictures.
Let me explain.
Beauty and the beast
Compare this picture of a sunset with this interpretation of a painting by Vincent van Gogh.
You’ll agree that the first picture is beautiful. Maybe it’s not the most beautiful sunset you’ve ever seen, but it’ll come close. Probably you’ve seen thousands of real sunsets in you live. And probably you’ve seen a few hundred in photos like this one.
But tell me. How often to you take your photo album out of the cupboard to look at one specific photo of a sunset?
I found the second picture a few weeks ago while I was looking for pictures to use in my collages and I hated it immediately. It was quite clear that this was not the kind of painting I could use. So I moved on.
But then I found that there was something about this painting that made me go back an look again.
I just did a little research on the picture and turns out that the two figures on the foreground are photoshopped on top of a painting by van Gogh. As horrible as the result might be it has something that draws me in and has me looking at this painting ones in a while.
Growth
So now for two of my drawings. Christening and First step.
Christening is one of my favorite drawings. It’s a quilt like patchwork of colors. Very pleasing to the eye.
But it is also a one off. The only purpose was to test the colors of a new pencil box. But it leads to nothing.
I could of course draw lots more of those kind of quilt like designs but it would soon become very boring for people to visit this site. Knowing that they would, again, see a quilt.
The second drawing is arguably the most horrible drawing I’ve ever done. But it’s also the first in a set.
It’s the drawing I had to get out of the way before I could try something new. Although I didn’t expect it, I did learn something by drawing it. But more important. Even while I was drawing it I got ideas about what to try next.
At the moment I’m drawing the third one in the set.
I’m finding that although I have some ideas about what it should become it’s also kind of a growing experience. As I’m learning how to use my colors I find more ways to keep the drawing interesting. Not only as an idea in my mind but also as a drawing on paper.
For me, and hopefully also for you, my visitors.
So to answer the question. Do I like my work?
Some times, but I’m not trying to.
I am trying to create pictures that are interesting enough to make you want to steal a second look.
If you like the stories I tell. Or like the art and music I show. Feel free to leave a donation.
by Henk ter Heide on Wednesday April 11, 2007
This morning I had an intake with a organisation called BAVO RNO (dutch). BAVO RNO guides people with mental disorders and people with autism with problems ranging from having problems with how you should deal with friend to what kind of job you should have, how to find it and how to keep it.
The last few years I’ve been working at a company called Promen. Promen is a sheltered workplace. This campony is supposed to create jobs that fit someones impairment. But all they have to offer is unskilled labor. The other problem with them is that they’re very badly organized. As a result it is next to impossible to get them to stick to an agreement.
Pointed ears
Working with them has been very tiring. To the point my brain sort of shut down and I couldn’t think about anything but the stupid work I was doing. And off course autistics don’t regnize there own feelings so I only knew that I felt bad.
The last few month, ever since I learned that I’m autistic, have been a kind of awakening. I now know what kind of circumstance tire me. Mostly in circumstances where I have to talk a lot I tire easy. Finding that I’v a photographic memory, starting with drawing, starting with this blog are all things that have me using my brain again.
Getting a job were I can use my brain is the next step on that road. That’s were BAVO RNO comes in. They actually have a plan. A few steps they help you take to find what kind of work would suit you. A relief after Promen. This man actually recognized my enthusiasm and liked it.
If you like the stories I tell. Or like the art and music I show. Feel free to leave a donation.