by Henk ter Heide on Wednesday October 17, 2007
Suffering from a little self pitty and talking about the goal of the study.
Shouldn’t drawing get easier with time? After nearly ten months I would have expected to have lost the fear of failure.
The last few days were much easier then usual so I thought I was finaly over it. But no.
Today I feel as anxious as always. And for what.
The drawing isn’t that hard.
Most times I have some kind of plan before I put the pencil to paper.
Today I want to know what happens if I take purple and blue as primary colors and yellow as secondary color. Purple for everything that has to do with the bark and blue for everything leaf like.
I also want to know what will happen if I change the drawing direction.
Tree 10
Changing the drawing direction changes the feeling I get from the drawing. Vertical line give me a feeling of strenght. The lines in this tree where not really horizontal but perpendicular on the lines in yesterdays tree.
This tree feels as thought it’s much fatter then yesterdays tree, although it’s about the same size.
Coloring yellow on top of the blue and the purple and in one stroke seeing the purple turn into brown and the blue into green was funny. A bit magical.
The problem with the (not really) horizontal lines was that the blue spills over the edge. It’s a little tricky to cover the blue with the yellow. So I get edges that are either blue or yellow but not green.
There is of course a simple sulotion to this problem and that is to draw in a background.
The question is? What will work better?
First drawing the tree and then filling in a blue background. Or coloring half the sheet blue and then sculping out the tree with yellow.
Or some combination.
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by Henk ter Heide on Friday September 21, 2007
Over the last forty years I’ve found two ironclad methods to never succeed at anything I try.
The first method, off course, is good old procrastination. Just don’t start at anything that could lead to some kind of succes.
At this moment for instance, I should be drawing trees. But although I have a fairly good idea how I should go about that, I’m not sure that I would succeed.
And lets be honest. Writing an article that could draw a hundred pageviews to my blog is a good investment of my time, isn’t it?
procrastination has one drawback. Everybody knows it’s your own doing. People tell you that you make your own choices.
Deep down you know that you could succeed if you just had more willpower.
To be really successful in failing you need a better method.
To solve this problem I got a habit that wrecked my concentration.
Maybe you are very shy and don’t know what you should say to people. Or maybe you have some other problem. In any case you could fantasize about the conversation you could have.
To be any good at it you should spent a lot of time and energy thinking about what people could say. While you’re thinking about the things you could say you’ll never say them.
If you’re really good at this you won’t have the energie to do anything of importance.
It will help if you can find an psychiatrist who convinces you that all your problems are your own doing and will disappear if you just learn how to talk to people.
It would be especially advantageous if this psychiatrist omits to do his job and never tells you what the actual problems are.
Now I have one good and one very good method to explain why I fail at almost everything I try, I’ve finaly learned that I’m actually autistic and have all kinds of possibilities.
To succeed I only have to unlearn my failing methods.
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