Self doubt

by Henk ter Heide on Tuesday August 4, 2009

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I made a few more color mixing test sheets. And threw them out.
This isn’t working.

For one thing because it’s boring. Both to look at as to make them. Also it makes me feel like I’m going back to school. With all the pencil numbers I have to study to figure out how to combine colors.
But most of all because I still feel a lot of self doubt. I still don’t know what it is I’m going to draw when I start mixing colors.

But the more I think about it the more I come to the conclusion that having self doubt might be the point of doing these kinds of drawings.
When I do a drawing where I can more or less predict what it is going to be, I always get bored. And it never results in something I really like.
Which is not to say that I always like the result if I can’t predict the result. But sometimes I do.

Having a lot of self doubt is a fairly sure sign that I’m treading on uncharted country.
It might not be a nice feeling but it is the right way to go!

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