Last week I wrote that I would print out a picture of some actress and draw a portrait of her. But it’s taking a little longer then I expected.
I’ve run into a little printer problem and a big self confidence problem.

This is not the first self confidence problem I’ve had over the last few years. And every time I find that I get very angry with you, my visitors.

I like to compare myself with Vincent van Gogh a famous Dutch painter.
Nowadays his paintings sell for millions of dollars a piece but in his time he wasn’t famous at all. His brother bought a few paintings from him but that was about it. He even checked himself into a madhouse at some point in his live and nobody cared.

That’s far cry from how I feel my live as an artist.
I’m not famous at all but I do have a public that’s waiting for every thing I have to say and every thing I have to show.
Sometimes it feels as though they are like vultures, ever circling.
It’s not fair.

But then after a few days my self confidence problem passes and I realize that I’m the one who’s not being fair…

I’ve bought a new bed.
To make room in my bedroom I have to move a cupboard that for years has been standing in the room. I don’t have any room for it in the rest of my house so I will be throwing it out.

Curiously I opened one of the drawers to find out what was in side and found five sketch pads I’ve filled over the years.

Looking them over I remember why I have this blog.
Every few years I feel creative and buy a sketch pad and draw for a while.
But every time I get at a point where I want to draw something that is a little more challenging then everything I had done up to that point and I’m struck by self confidence problems and stop drawing.

Then after a few months/years I feel creative again and buy a sketch pad and start over again.

That’s why I have this blog.
To feel the pressure of people waiting for my next drawing to force myself to look passed problems. Problems with self confidence or any other type.

This is a drawing I did some years ago. I found it in one of the sketch pads. Although I’m sure I had some kind of idea about it when I drew it, I don’t remember what it was.