From the monthly archives:

October 2008

Art showcase 1e edition

by Henk ter Heide on Wednesday October 29, 2008

in Art showcase

Here’s the first edition of the new Art showcase. For this first edition I’ve received three submission (plus a few from people trying to sell me something 🙂 ).

From A.Decker I got a article about a nice drawing he made last year for his his blog Resonant Enigma. He talks about his way of finding inspiration for his drawings.
Looking over his blog I found that I had made a serious omission when I started this blog carnival. Although I haven’t done many reviews about them the in the last year, photography is also a very important form of art.
On mister Deckers blog I found an other nice article about finding inspiration for photographs.

Todays second entry is a nice art review from the blog The Intellectual Hooligan. The review consists of a few very nice picture of something you might call sculptures by Tara Donovan. Especially the first object made from styrofoam cups is brilliant.
Looking through his older posts I found an article with a very long title: It’s The End! Lexicographers and Linguistics Professors Alike Fall Upon Their Swords! Anarchy! Chaos! Terror Stalks The Land!.
The article is about the problems faced by, among others, the modern artist who wants to show his work on the Internet.

I will be holding the third review in reserve because her server is giving an internal error at this moment.
Hopefully this is a temporary problem. If so I will be reviewing this site next month.

Update: The second edition of the Art showcase will be November 26e, 2008.


Accepting comments selectively

by Henk ter Heide on Sunday October 26, 2008

in Personal

Dealing with anger by selectively listening to comments.

The series about what I learn in cognitive behavior therapy consist of the following parts:

  1. Cognitive behavior therapy
  2. Strong anonymous feelings
  3. 751
  4. Feelings scared
  5. Accepting comments selectively
  6. Mad as Hell

One of the assignment of CBT two weeks ago was to find the psychical sensations associated with feeling angry.
Seeing as how easy it was to find the psychical sensation associated with feeling fear I didn’t expect that to be very hard. But it turned out to be impossible.
Although I’ve been angry several times in the last two weeks I never noticed that I was angry until the anger passed. So I did notice that being angry causes you to raise your voice. And I noticed that I have trouble expressing myself when I’m angry. I kind of loose the ability to talk.
But I don’t know how it feels.

Talking about this with the psychiatrist, he suggested to investigate whether I have some thought or feeling just before I get angry. So if I can’t recognize my anger by the psychical sensation I might at least be able to recognize it by the thoughts I have just before.

That assignment turned out to be far more easier then I expected. You would think that if you aren’t aware of your feeling of anger you wouldn’t know what happens just before you get angry. But that turned out to be obvious.

I’m always commenting on myself. Or actually I’m always imaging people commenting on me.
Turns out that when I imagine someone talking me down, I feel scared. When I imagine someone giving me a comment in which he tells me that he didn’t listen to something I had to say, I feel anger.

After I found that, I figured I should go to the next level. Knowing what scares and angers me, I should be able to avoid getting those feelings altogether.
But I’ve tried for years to stop myself from imagining people who are commenting on me. I’ve never succeeded and I really don’t know how I could. Further more the comments I imagine that people are giving me are based on comments I really get from people. They frighten and anger me just as much when I get them for real as when I imagine it happening.

Thinking about something a Steve Pavlina says somewhere in his blog: You can decide for yourself which comments have meaning for you and which don’t.
Sometimes people are only commenting because it’s easier for them to let you do the work then to do the work themselfs.

I decided to only accept two kinds of comments:

  • Comments about things I can actually change.
  • Comments about things that are my responsibility.
    • This is the point I reached last wednesday. After living with these rules for two days it seemed as though all my problems were solved.

      I came across several situation where my feelings about myself improved significantly after using these rules. Some of those situations only existed in my imagination while others were actually happening.
      The most important one was when I told my father that I had found out that something I used to fight about with my mother really wasn’t my fault. Most autistics have this problem.
      But he didn’t believe me!
      That horrified me until I realized that it really didn’t matter anymore. This isn’t something I can change, whether he believes me or not. It’s not my responsibility to decide what he believes. And last but not least I been living on own for the better part of 30 years so he can’t really hurt me.

      I really expected that this would be the end of my problems. That I would stop talking to myself and start drawing and writing art reviews again.
      But it didn’t. The talking to myself has actually gotten worse. I can’t find the energy to draw and to write reviews. (Although I will be publishing the blog carnival next wednesday.)
      But the anger and the fear are gone!
      I just have to figure out what’s next.


Feeling scared

by Henk ter Heide on Monday October 20, 2008

in Personal

Recognizing some more feelings.

The series about what I learn in cognitive behavior therapy consist of the following parts:

  1. Cognitive behavior therapy
  2. Strong anonymous feelings
  3. 751
  4. Feelings scared
  5. Accepting comments selectively
  6. Mad as Hell

The thing is.
When you’re writing a series
of articles about the therapy you’re doing to learn to recognize your feelings, you’re tempted to wanting to write the causes of all those new feelings you find. But it doesn’t always work that way.
Last week I was going to write an article about the link between friendship and fear. But it didn’t feel right.

(That’s one of those strange things of being autistic: How can you feel that something doesn’t feel right if you don’t know what you’re feeling?
I’m told that is because reacting to a feeling is regulated by one part of the brain and recognizing a feeling is regulated by an other part. That second part of the brain doesn’t work as it should in autistics. But it’s still very strange.)

Last week I discovered that the always present feeling of cold has nothing to do with autism.
Apparently I’m afraid of something and have been so for years. Only I don’t know what it is that I’m afraid of.

Last night I found an other sign of fear.
I’m about 30 kilo over weight as of result of my ever present feeling of hunger. I’ve tried to start a diet several times but every time the feeling of hunger wins out.
Last night I had two opposing feelings.
On the one hand I had the feeling my tummy would burst but at the same time I had a feeling of hunger.
So I eat. About twice as much as I would have eaten on a normal day. The feeling that my tummy would burst became much stronger. But still I had the feeling of hunger.

Thinking about it, it became clear that I was interpreting this feeling wrong.
So what could it be.
Luckily I know the list of psychical sensations associated with feeling scared. Just like a few weeks ago I found that knowing a list and recognizing a feeling are two separate things. But when you start thinking about what a feeling could mean it’s far more easier if you know the list.
In this case I have a fairly nasty feeling in my throat.
I used to associate this feeling with being sick. But some 20 years ago I found that eating something would make this feeling go away. So I concluded that it probably would have something to do with feeling hungery.
But now it’s clear that concussion was false. This is also a feeling of fear.

(Of course eating when you’re scared will give you the feeling that you’re in control and then the feeling of fear will pass.)

So I’m scared.
And I’ve been scared for at least the last 20 years.
And I have no clue as to why I’m scared.

It’s actually a nice to know that I’m scared.
As strange as that may sound.



by Henk ter Heide on Tuesday October 14, 2008

in Drawing



Understanding perspective and size

by Henk ter Heide on Sunday October 12, 2008

in Drawing

Wandering why my perspective are always wrong when I draw a picture from my mind.

While doing my last drawing something happened that I never had before. Or at least I’ve never realized this.
The brown band at the right of the drawing is supposed to be a wall. While drawing it I realized that I didn’t know what was on the other side of that wall.
I’ve always had the feeling that I knew everything that there was to know about the objects I see in the pictures in my mind. But apparently not.

Thinking some more about this I realized that the pictures in my mind are not only 3 dimensional but I also have multiple viewing points. I literally what both this side and the other side of the tree look like. Which is why I have such a hard time to draw it. Since it is impossible to draw both side all at ones.

The reason that I know what both sides of an object look like is probably because I walked around it. Which also explains why I don’t know what is on the other side of the wall in my drawing. Probably this is a picture I saw somewhere on a picture postcard or on television.

Staring some more at my last drawing after I had scanned it I started wandering why it looked so much different from one of the first drawings I did after I started this blog last year. I copied a landscape from some picture and it looks very nice and 3 dimensional. Where as picture I draw from memory always look flat.

It took me a few days but it finally hit me.
Even though the picture in my mind are 3 dimensional I don’t see perspective in those pictures. I get them 3 dimensional by comparing the hight and width of everything to my own hight. I know how far I would have to bend my neck backwards to see the top of the tree. I know how deep I would have to dig down to get to see all the roots of a tree.
But there is no way for me to draw myself into the picture. So to get a feeling of depth I will have to use the language of perspective.


There is also something wrong with this drawing. More specific there is something wrong with the tree.
It only took me a few hours to realize that it’s the same problem.
I relate the thickness of the trunk and the branches to myself. The trunk is as thick as I am and the branches are as thick as my arm.
Without myself in the picture I’ll have to find an other way of judging size.



by Henk ter Heide on Thursday October 9, 2008

in Drawing

Recognizing the feelings that have to do with drawing enables me to draw.

The series about what I learn in cognitive behavior therapy consist of the following parts:

  1. Cognitive behavior therapy
  2. Strong anonymous feelings
  3. 751
  4. Feeling scared
  5. Accepting comments selectively
  6. Mad as Hell

Although we’re not yet there, I asked the psychiatrist whether a strong tingling feeling in your body is a happy feeling.
He was not sure. Could be. But he did say that if I enjoyed the feeling it’s probable that it has something to do with feeling happy.
I do enjoy the feeling.

Now I know that it is supposed to be happy feeling I find that I’m able to just sit down and draw. I can resist the urge to jump through the room.

I’m also trying a new technique.
After finding that my problem isn’t with drawing techniques but with recalling techniques, I’ve decided I should draw more interesting scenes the a bunch of rising squares. And since it isn’t possible to draw a lighter color on top of a darker color, as you would with paint (Or at least it is possible but it isn’t visible if you do), I’ve decided to try a new technique.

So this drawing is based on some image I imagined a few days ago. I’m starting with the lighter colors and working my way up to the darker colors.
I’m not quite sure what I must do after this but hopefully I will know by tomorrow.



Show your art

by Henk ter Heide on Tuesday October 7, 2008

in Art showcase

Describing why I started the Art showcase Blog Carnival.

Anyone who has ever started a blog knows that it is very hard to find your audience. You tell your friends. You link to your site from your social bookmarking site. You try to digg yourself.
But with all your efforts you may be lucky if you can get a steady audience of a few dozen people.

For the last year I’ve been featuring a series of artists. But by the nature of the way you find information on the Web, most of those artist were well established. Working for years with their own following and a large number of paintings/drawing/sculptures.

I’ve been thinking that it would be nice to show the work of a few artist who, just like me, have only just started on their journey. Artist who are still learning their craft.
Artist who are juggling a day job with their need to show the world the images and feelings they have in their head and heart.

For that reason I’m starting the Art showcase Blog Carnival.
If you draw, paint or sculpture and you write a blog and you would want to extend your audience, posting an article at Art showcase will be just the thing for you.
Other art Blog Carnivals might demand work of a certain quality, but since you’ve just started you can’t give that. Some Carnivals may seek work of young but promising artist but nobody can say about himself/herself that he/she is promising and to be honest neither can I.
I’m interested in your growth as an artist: Growth in your drawing, painting or sculpting skills. The process by which you find subjects, the way you work with them and learn from them.

You can submit two kinds of articles:

  • Articles in which you show your work either with or without comments. Preferably two articles so you can show where you was a while ago and where you are now. (Enter the second link under “remark”.)
  • Articles in which you talk about your creative process. (For instance articles about: Where you find your inspiration.With what kind of subjects you work. How you develop your skill. etc.)

When you find that I’ve listed your work in the Art Showcase you might feel tempted to link to my site. To show your appreciation and/or to show your friends that you finally got some recognition.
Don’t! Google frowns upon two way links because spammers use them a lot to sell their V*something. (Angering Google will hurt your ability to gain an audience.)
I would, however, appreciate it if you would bookmark this article at any social bookmarking service you use. By doing so you will not only show your appreciation (which is nice), but you will also be helping other starting artist to find the Art Showcase (which is even nicer!).

If you don’t use any social bookmarking service, might I strongly advise you to start doing so. Not only is it a lot of fun to show people links to what ever subject that interests you, but it will also help you to promote your blog.
This being the Internet you’ll find that nobody is interested in a list containing only links to your articles. But there are a lot of people who are interested in the same kind of things that interest you. While looking through your list of interesting websites/articles they will also find your blog.

If you feel that your blog falls in the category of sites that would benefit from a listing in the Art Showcase blog carnival, head over to the entry form and submit your work.


War of God

by Henk ter Heide on Monday October 6, 2008

in Art sites

Illustrations by Andy Parkart and drawings and paintings by Jason Courtney.

Illustrations by Andy Parkart
The nice thing about blog done by animation artist is that they usually have a few really nice drawings.
This is especially true for Andy Parkart. He has done some of the marketing illustrations for the playstation 2 game “War of God”. Although I must say that I’ve never heard of this game Andy’s illustrations are truly beautiful.
In most of the rest of his blog he shows drawing and paintings he did for his own pleasure.

God of War by Andy Parkart

Drawings and paintings by Jason Courtney
What do Gary Gygax and dead fish have in common?
The are both paintings Jason Courtney posted on his Crooked eye blog.
On this blog you’ll find a collection of very good drawings and painting on several subject. What binds them together is the friendly feeling of the world the artist portrays.


More ladies

by Henk ter Heide on Sunday October 5, 2008

in Art sites

Dan Freund manipulated images, Tina Blondell and Louie Metz paintings.

Dan Freund playing with images
I don’t agree with Dan Freunds quote of Andy Warhol that art is what you can get away with. Although it might be true for someone as famous as Andy.
Playing around with image manipulations might not be art but if you do it as skillful as Dan Freund it does lead to some very nice pictures

Tina Blondell’s strange ladies
A few months ago I featured an artist who painted tattoos. This next artist is somewhat reminiscent of him except for the fact that I don’t think that she is painting real people.
Tina Blondell paints naked woman with a pattern painted on their skin. The patterns give the paintings something odd but still interesting.

Louie Metz’s lovely ladies
After the last two artist you may be glad to see these paintings. Most are also of women but in this case painted the way women should be painted. Very nice.

(I also found a little mystery. If you have a Flickr account sign in before visiting this artist. When you do this set consists of 64 paintings. If your logged out it only contains 11 paintings.
I have no idea if this happens a lot or only with this artist.)


Painting in the street video

by Henk ter Heide on Saturday October 4, 2008

in Art sites

When talking about street paintings people usually think about Julian Beever. But although he might be the most famous, he isn’t the only one.
Tonight I have a little video about an other street painter; Kurt Wenner.

Kurt Wenner – Masterpieces in Chalk pt1

Kurt Wenner – Masterpieces in Chalk pt2

Kurt Wenner – Masterpieces in Chalk pt3