Discovering that a curse can turn into a blessing.

Dancing a little to get passed the feeling of restlessness helps me a lot with the drawing I started yesterday.
I’m now recognizing that I always felt afraid of …. something every time I tried to start with something. But now I know what caused the fear.

The feeling of restlessness was only part of it. The other part was the feeling that every thing I do is wrong.
As it turns out that feeling is right. Sort of.
At the moment I’m making a very nice drawing of a chair. The only problem is that it isn’t the chair that I’m trying to draw. It almost looks like it but the drawing has dozens of little mistakes.
In my mind the drawing doesn’t look like the chair I’m trying to draw.

For years I solved the problem of always having the feeling that everything I do is wrong by purposely adding mistakes. Which of course caused it’s own problem. If you’re planning to produce less then your best why bother at all?
Now I’m realizing that this is just the autistic curse of seeing detail.

It feels like something of a two edged sword: At the moment it’s very annoying that I feel the need to erase every line I draw and re-draw it four or five times before I’m finally satisfied.
But in the long run it will probably improve my drawing skills.